Prayer & Ridiculous.

I wrote an interpretive poem (as opposed to a non-interpretive poem? just roll with it...) during my stats lecture on Thursday.

Empirical distribution.

Angsty protesting students outside.

Sunshine and sing-song birds,

But not here.

Dungeon-esque lecture hall.

Glaring white board.

PowerPoint clicker.

Restlessness.

Time. Standing. Still.

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Needless to say, Stats is a struggle. And by struggle I mean a black vortex of boredom and confusion.

I feel like my life this last week can be wrapped up in two words: prayer & ridiculous. Ridiculously prayerful? Definitely. Prayerfully ridiculous? Sometimes. Ridiculous and maybe not so much prayer? That too.

It all started Sunday, when I heard a sweet sermon from my LA home church, Reality LA. (You can find the podcast here.) Tim Chaddick spoke on the passage Isaiah 49:13-16, which talks about how dearly the Lord loves us and will never forget us:

"....even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me." (v. 16)

During that service, God really broke my heart for a friend of mine and his younger sibling that was just recently diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). Part of me was really frustrated because this family doesn't live anywhere near me, and because of that I felt like I couldn't love on them in the ways I'd like to. For the next few days I kept on asking God, why have you put these people on my heart when 1) besides my friend, I've never met any of them 2) They live hundreds of miles away and 3)I rarely hear from this friend more than once or twice a month? And then I read this passage:

"In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death..." (Hebrews 5:7a)

Shoot. I feel like so often the insanity of Jesus' prayer life is overlooked. He would spend hours pouring out His heart to the Father. How amazing would that have been to be able to listen in on one of Jesus' prayers? How does someone who is all-God and all-man and actually worthy of the Fathe'rs love-- how does He talk to the Creator of the Universe? It blows my mind to think about.

And the best part about all these crazy things the Lord was teaching me was that I was able to apply them immediately into my everyday life. I started praying a lot. Like, to the point where I didn't even realize I was praying until I thought about what it must look like muttering to myself on BruinWalk. Not that that necessarily stopped me.... Hehe. I know that the Spirit is working in my heart because I've never had so much school work to do and felt so overwhelmed by something that wasn't school. I'm overwhelmed with His love.

I just started reading Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig and Dave Roberts, a book about the 24-7 prayer movement. Last night while reading in my cozy XL-twin bed, this particular quote struck me:

"There can be no movement in our lives until we are confronted with the reality of our current state." (27)

I pray I would never cease to self-examine and investigate the condition of my heart. May I allow the Spirit to convict me and renew and transform my heart. I don't want to grow numb.

On a slightly unrelated note, tonight was an awesome time hanging out with some great people who love Jesus. We ate lasagna, played telephone pictionary (one of the best games....ever), and squished an obscene amount of people into 3 apartments and a hallway. Oh, Cru. You're so great. Also, I discovered the endless hours of entertainment Spanish magnets can provide. Christmas is right around the corner. Just sayin'.

Here's a glimpse into the "ridiculous" side of my life. First, my roommates/best friends. Second, myself. Enjoy.