Written on 10.27.10:
I've never been able to envision myself settling down, doing a normal job. Maybe that's why I've never felt called to a particular career... Because mine doesn't exist. I want to be on the move for Jesus. I want to be part of a movement that I know is bigger than me. A movement that God is so evidently in control of and all those participating are constantly blown away by how good He is and how unworthy they are. I don't want to romanticize that idea of being on mission for Jesus. It's a crazy hard lifestyle. But I want to reach those who everyone else labels as "too far gone."
I don't need money.
I don't need stability.
I don't need approval or acceptance.
I need Jesus.
I need more Jesus.
Why this popped into my head at Real Life on Wednesday? I have no idea. The only thoughts I've had about life after graduation involve this schizophrenic desire to become a food critic/coffee shop owner/florist/culinary school student/jr. high teacher/business consultant/missionary in a Spanish-speaking country. Surprisingly, UCLA doesn't offer that particular major. Shoot.
I still get real excited thinking about what God has in store for my life. What will that look like? Once again, I have no idea. But I DO know the Lord is faithful. And sovereign over every part of my life. And everything He's teaching me now is in preparation for something to come. Just let THAT sink in. Ahhhhh!
Aside from getting excited about what God has planned for me, this week has been a little "wah wah." I learned that a lack of midterms most certainly does NOT mean a lack of work. I feel like a broken record always asking for prayer that I would not feel overwhelmed or anxious about school, but it's rough. Especially at UCLA, a place where it's acceptable, and even encouraged, to be enslaved to academia and unacceptable to genuinely believe there's more to life than getting a job and "making a difference." (Barf. I hate that phrase. What can I say? Disney Channel has certainly tainted me.) My accounting professor is one of those people. The quote of the week reveals just a glimmer of her obsession with academic performance:
"Your college GPA is the most important indicator of your intellectual abilities."
Professor Gardner, 10/26/10
Whateverrrr. Over it.
This weekend I'll finally get to eat the highly-praised Griddle Café with my faithful, food-loving friend, Sarah. I'm SO tired of dining hall food. This is surely the highlight of my week. Also, we'll be taking a trip to the downtown LA library, which is supposed to be beautiful. So be excited for future blog posts with pictures from this upcoming weekend!
I'm not going to lie, this post was a struggle. It's kind of hard to organize my thoughts when I haven't slept in for over 2 weeks and quiet, still moments are few and far between. But eees all good! Because He is good! I want to leave you with a sweet verse from my quiet time on Wednesday morning:
Love love!
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